So we had our first married fight. And it was a doozy.
We both said things that we regretted as soon as they were out of our mouths.
It was not pleasant. There was a brief moment when I wondered if I had made a mistake getting married. I felt like I wanted to punch Mr B in the head.
We both took a time out to cool down.
Then we hugged. Hugs can melt away so many things.
We talked for hours. Late into the night holding each other in bed.
I knew that we would be ok. That getting married wasn't a mistake.
I read an article in a magazine that said it's healthy to let your kids see you fight, as long as they see you make up too.
I know that there will be many more fights in our lives. We're crazy passionate people - be that a good and bad thing. But I know there will be many more hugs too.
Everybody fights, it's just that most people don't like to talk about it.
We both said things that we regretted as soon as they were out of our mouths.
It was not pleasant. There was a brief moment when I wondered if I had made a mistake getting married. I felt like I wanted to punch Mr B in the head.
We both took a time out to cool down.
Then we hugged. Hugs can melt away so many things.
We talked for hours. Late into the night holding each other in bed.
I knew that we would be ok. That getting married wasn't a mistake.
I read an article in a magazine that said it's healthy to let your kids see you fight, as long as they see you make up too.
I know that there will be many more fights in our lives. We're crazy passionate people - be that a good and bad thing. But I know there will be many more hugs too.
Everybody fights, it's just that most people don't like to talk about it.
18 Ideas shared:
THANK you! I get so tired of reading blogs where the writer acts like their relationship is perfect and they never fight. It is so refresing to see an honest post like this. Fights can suck (we have plenty ourselves) but making up can be so much fun! :)
Oh God. Cory and I have some fights. But we try and make up before going to be. nearly 4 years later so far so good!
Totally true, no one talks about the bumps in the road. If some couple I knew told me that they never fought at all, I wouldn't really believe them. I would think either at least one person is really repressing themselves or it's just a lie.
The times I was most scared for our relationship was when we fought before we decided we were committed and that threatening to break up was not something that would be considered. So now we still fight but we know in the end that the issue is not a dealbreaker :)
Thank you for this honest post. It's easy in the wedding blog world to fall for the "it's all sunshine and roses over here" spiel, but all couples fight. My fiance and I have some doozies as well - like you and the Mr., we are both opinionated and passionate people. We are also polar opposites (even our Zodiac signs are directly opposite one another). I get scared a lot, but like the two of you, we usually manage to talk it our before we go to sleep. Thanks again.
Sigh, we just had a fight tonight and since we're in different time zones, the making up part will take longer. I agree, I think the understanding and letting your kids see that is super important.
We have fights all the time {sounds like we always argue!} - I think it's perfectly normal.
How you react post-fight is more important. We try to make up as quickly as possible and clear the air.
I've never understood couples that never fight - what do they do with all their pent up aggression!
Yay for fighting! And yay for your honesty. It's a rare thing to come across in the world of wedding fluff. And thanks for adding me to your blogroll!
I think it's interesting how fights change as a relationship deepens and becomes more committed. You know, the change from "Is this the fight that will break us up?" to a fight that happens because of a lack of understanding, during which you know that the relationship is solid and for the long haul, and this is just a fight about an issue that needs to be figured out. It's a really good shift...
i like hugs from my hubs too. :)
Fighting sucks. But solving is good. And moving on. And especially making up.
Saying things you regret is really the worst. Sorry it played out like that. Hopefully you can both forgive and move on. (I know YOU, of all people, are capable of forgiveness to the highest degree.)
Thanks for sharing the not-as-pretty parts too. Honesty is always more interesting than fluff. :)
Em
PS I also feel like a congratulations is in order for your first married fight! :)
You are so right, everyone fights but no one talks about it. Conflict is a really healthy thing as long as it is handled well...sounds like you 2 newlywed's have that in the bag!
Of course everyone fights. But whats important is how you 2 resolved it. And it sounds like you got it right! Plus now that you are over this hump (first married fight) maybe the next argument will be "calmer"
we have NASTY fights about once every two months. Like, really nasty. I just think seeing someone ALL THE TIME means they get on your nerves and you forget to be polite. I dont think it is the end of the world.
ps. just wrote a post JUST FOR YOU. I started a new job and it has been kicking my ass.
Mr Fix It and I have been snapping at each other like crazy this week...see my post tomorrow :( We don't let our fights last more than a few minutes usually but like you, we are passionate stubborn people :) We say things we don't mean or out of frustration and then immediately humble ourselves and apologize and feel horrible. I have always said that it is good for kids to see you fight as long as they see you fighting in a 'healthy' way. It's how they learn to express their feelings with respect and how they learn conflict resolution...something Mr Fix It and I are actually pretty good at.
Glad it ended so lovingly for you two.
ooh yes I know that feeling of wanting to punch a certain someone in the head oh so well..
Interesting comment about kids seeing you fight ok as long as they see they make up as well. (well not ALL of the making up I assume :) But I agree arguing isn't all bad.
Glad you still happy to be married
Must be in the air - had one of those myself last night. But at the end of the day - it's all good and I love him like it's going out of style...
You have to fight! Who wants a squeaky clean perfect relationship? My only friend who doesn't fight with her other half actually secretly hates him and wants to leave him – not healthy!
you made it 61 days?! dang! we just had our first married fight 12 days into it!!
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